i just google imaged poop.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
