Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
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Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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