I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Randomize
