I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
