operation have a gay friend backfired
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
