Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
