did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
