she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
