At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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