we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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