You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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