i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize