About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
