Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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