You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Every concussion has its silver lining
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize