no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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