I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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