You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
