I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
