i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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