I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
