Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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