You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
