i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
