"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
