I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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