we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
