I only kidnapped one of them. chill
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Sex in the backyard? Check.
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