remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
We need a shit load of segways right now
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
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