the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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