I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
