do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
