Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
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