just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
