she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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