Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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