Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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