Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
