i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
