I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
