Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize