I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
