its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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