ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
