Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
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