epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
