you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
