He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
