I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize