70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
