Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
