either way he was missing a nipple.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
