When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
