nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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