I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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