She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Girls should come with a carfax report
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
