I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
