I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
