Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
